Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize