I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I will die if light touches me.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
