SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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