We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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