Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
