i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
