The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
