you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
