remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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