i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize