you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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