Sry I called you an 8
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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