tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
