I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize