i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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