after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
