if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
