i wish peter jackson would direct porn
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
