so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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