in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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