are you still at the devil's house?
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
