I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize