It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
