I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
