this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
