I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
