Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
