In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
