maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
