it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
