i don't like sucking hair
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
