I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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