I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
