video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
