Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
