he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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