Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
