She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
