I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
