i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
its liver damage thursday
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
