It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
