Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
