My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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