Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
