I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
