maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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