yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
