Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
