as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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