I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
