dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
