I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize