remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
