you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
