Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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