i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
