It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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