Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
