I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
