ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize